So I have been seeing and reading a lot of posts about the lack of tact used by people when it relates to illness and I’m bored & can’t sleep so I shall post about it
There is a massive lack of empathy or help in place for the aptly named “invisible illnesses” - things such as depression, arthritis, fibromyalgia etc, there are a lot of people in the world who think that just because you cannot see symptoms then the illness is not there. Which as anyone who has been touched by these illnesses will know very well how untrue that can be.
The thing is that it doesn’t just relate to people with illnesses that you can’t see, as you can see from the above I have the biggest scar on my leg - but I love it because it is part of MY leg, which I got to keep due to that scar. I had no hair, no eyebrows or lashes, no energy to move, basically lived in the hospital and gained a shit tonne of weight from steroids….
Yet people still find the need to walk right up to my car to check I have a disabled sticker then hang around to watch me to “check” that I’m genuinely disabled & not just using my grandmas sticker - other choice phrases
- “you need to remember how lucky you are, you could have died”
- “you only had low grade bone cancer”
- “maybe if you had been more in shape you wouldn’t have gotten sick”
- “I wonder if you got cancer from sleeping with your phone next to your bed”
- “if you were vegan you wouldn’t have gotten sick”
I appreciate that there are some people who just have zero understanding of any type of illness. But there are some people who just say things to hurt you or to make you feel guilty. Do people think that we don’t know how lucky we are? Do they not know how guilty I feel when I hear about a friend relapsing or passing away? Do they know how insulting it is to put down 4 surgeries and a years worth of an aggressive mix of 5 different chemo drugs into three words “low grade cancer”
I fought for my life and I fought fucking hard. Through the amazing work of my medical team and through sheer stubbornness I held myself in a manner that I am proud of. I did not let my disease define me & I am getting better
If you don’t know - don’t say shit. If you know part of someone’s story, still don’t say shit. Be helpful, loving, supportive and kind - but don’t remind us that we are “lucky”
Because I can tell you from first hand experience, the person who best knows about being lucky is the person who stared death in the face, gave him the finger and told him ‘not today you fucker’
***steps off soapbox***
I swear the universe knew I made this post!!
I walked into my plastic surgery, man taps his wife, points at my leg and says “look at that girls leg - it is horrific!”
Felt like telling him his face will be horrific after I kick him with my bionic leg